大衛 David
各位同光教會的弟兄姊妹平安，我是桃園小組的大衛，今天很高興能上台跟大家分享我的生命故事，願我的見證能為大家帶來信心、盼望和愛。讓我們一起來禱告：「親愛的主耶穌，孩子感謝你孩子讚美你，主謝謝你藉著同光教會讓更多人來認識你，今天孩子用自己的生命故事來做見證，願主你的話語、智慧、恩典都充滿其中，讓世人都知道你是一位又真又活的神，我們每個人的生命道路都交托在主你手中，願將一切榮耀都歸於你，以上禱告奉我主耶穌基督得勝的名禱告，阿門！」
我今年43歲，而我在40歲之前是從事旅遊業，在雄獅旅遊帶日本團，但卻在三年前2020年新冠疫情剛開始時，我忽然失業了，那時我對自己真的失去了盼望，因為在這之前我都樂於工作，我也很享受在國外飛來飛去，但一夕之間全世界忽然停止了，我整個人失去了重心，尤其是中年失業對我衝擊很大，因為我只會說日文也只懂日本，而我十年旅遊的經歷也在當時找不到工作，所以前半年我去上政府補助的求職訓練班學電腦，考管理員總幹事執照，下半年就到處打零工賺零用錢和勞健保，但也因為中年失業這個危機，讓我想清楚了我下半輩子想要改變些什麼？
生命中的得與失，是永恆不變的道理。因為上帝為你關閉了一扇窗，就一定會為你打開另一扇門。而我就在2020年9月11日當天，來到了同光教會而改變了我的人生，那天是週五的晚上，我跟我的伴小徐下班後，從桃園特地開車上來台北，參加了同家會和教會合辦的收養講座，在這短短的一個小時介紹中，大致了解收養必經的程序和條件後，也點燃了我對新生命的熱情，因為同志除了能夠結婚以外，也能夠成家去收養小孩成為家長，雖然當時只是同家會一本小小的簡介，但卻是我心中大大的盼望！
我很喜歡聖經中的一段經文，哥林多前書 2:9 「如經上所記： 神為愛他的人所預備的，是眼睛未曾看見， 耳朵未曾聽見， 人心也未曾想到的。」我信耶穌受洗今年是第十年了，我跟我伴也在一起十年了，我們在教會認識，也一起在教會成長，這十年兩個人都經歷了感情世界的風風雨雨，我曾經在第三年的時侯因為吸毒被抓去勒戒一個月，本來要分手的我們，因上帝的指引，後來一起去做了六次的感情諮商，最後我們都選擇重新再給彼此一次機會，而我又另外單獨做了三個月的心理輔導，成功戒了毒也戒了性成癮，這一段面對自己黑暗面的路其實不好走，但靠著每一天晚上哭泣禱告的信心，我花了半年時間去修復彼此的關係，雖然認錯悔改的過程很痛苦，但也換來了之後七年不痛不癢的幸福，更讓我真實經歷了「我雖然行過死蔭的幽谷， 也不怕遭害， 因為你與我同在； 你的杖，你的竿，都安慰我。」詩篇 23:4
其實同志不管有伴或沒伴，要走收養這一條路都不容易，原則上要通過二年以上的審查標準，才能有機會媒合到小孩。除了一開始的書面申請、健康檢查、財力證明，還要花很多心力和時間去個別會談、團體上課、社工家訪，其實這些法律上的流程只要有耐心，照著機構一步一步走就好，我覺得同志能收養成功最困難的兩個關鍵點就是「公開出櫃」和「親友支持」，因為收養小孩是一輩子的決定，不能中途放棄，所以機構會一再確認你是否已經準備好了，去向社會公開自己的性向和接受外界異樣的眼光和聲音，因為如果要成為一位同志家長，你要有勇氣去保護你的孩子，如果你自己都不能活在陽光下，你又怎麼能成為孩子一生的太陽呢？
另一方面親友是否支持收養也是必考題，因為孩子需要的是一個完整的家，也許你不必跟長輩親戚同住，但若育兒臨時有需要時，誰能及時幫助你支援你，所以你必須自己先去跟親朋好友們溝通，而收養機構也會親自訪談去確認他們的意願，為了這個現實的難題，說真的我跟我母親吵了無數次架，甚至還打過架，只為了要她能接受我未來就是要收養變成家庭主夫，如果她現在不能幫我一起照顧小孩，我也威脅她以後老了我和孫子都不會幫她推輪椅，現在回頭看我也不知道當時我哪來的勇氣去革命反抗，但我讀舊約聖經時也發現大衛的家族歷史本來就像一齣肥皂劇，吵吵鬧鬧的劇情才像平凡的一家人生活，不是嗎？
最後經歷了兩年多的努力，我們終於在今年1/15農曆年前把孩子接進家，我永遠記得那天我能成為家長的感動和驕傲，這十個多月從不會把屎把尿的新手奶爸，變成小孩一個眼神一個動作我就知道他要什麼的黃臉伯大叔，我才明白聖經上所說的，要進天國你要先回轉像小孩是什麼意思，因為世界上最任性的生物就是小孩，他們不爽就是哭就是鬧，因為在他們的眼中只有爸媽，而小孩深信大人就是會愛他原本的模樣，而我們的天父上帝不也是如此愛我們每一個人嗎？
我們誰也不需要再費盡心力去想要討好每個人，因為活在世上一定會有人看誰都不順眼去批評你，也有人一定會無緣無故的去傷害你，但你要知道這都不是你的錯，這是撒旦的詭計，撒旦要你不愛自己去遠離上帝，但聰明的小孩都知道，唯有抓著天父的手不放開，才會有天使保護你，因為天父就是愛的源頭，不管你是不是親生的，只要你肯叫他一聲阿爸父，他就會把全部的愛都給你，不是嗎？這就是我大衛能靠著主耶穌的信望愛，成為翔翔爸爸的生命見證！
最後我們一家三口，想用一首詩歌總結這些年收養的心路歷程，歌詞一開頭就像我前兩年總在睡前禱告，幻想著我可愛兒子的畫面，也獻給在場每一位聽我見證的弟兄姊妹，只要願意放下自己饒恕別人，全心全意的信靠主耶穌，這一生必有最美的祝福。
Peace to the brothers and sisters of Tong-Kwang Church. I am David from Taoyuan small group, and I am very happy to share about my life story. May my testimony bring faith, hope and love to everyone. Let us pray. Dear Jesus, Your child thank You and praise You, for through Tong-Kwang Church more people can come to know You. Today, Your child is using his life story to testify. May Your word, wisdom and blessing be revealed through it, so that the world may know that You are a real and living God. May we commit each of our lives’ journey to You, and give You all the glory. We pray all these in Jesus’ victorious name. Amen!
I am 43 this year and before the age of 40, I was in the tourism industry and brought tourists from the Lion Travel Agency to Japan. However, three years ago in 2020, when COVID started, I suddenly lost my job. At that time, I lost all hope, because before this, I found joy in my job, and I enjoyed traveling to different countries. Suddenly, the whole world stopped and I lost my what was dear to me. Losing my job while I’m middle aged was especially difficult, because I only knew Japanese and only knew Japan. Due to the 10 years of experience in the travel industry, I couldn’t find a job. Hence, for the first six months I attended the government subsidized career training classes to learn how to use the computer, and a management and administration license. In the second half of the year I was going around finding part time jobs for daily expenses, as well as labor and health insurance. However, losing my job while being middle aged caused me to be clear about what I wanted to change in the second half of my life.
Having both gains and losses in life is a concept that will not change forever, because when God closes a door to you, He will open another. On September 9 2020, I can to Tong-Kwang church and it changed my life. It was a Friday night and after work, my partner Xu and I drove from Taoyuan to Taipei after work. We attended a seminar organized by Taiwan LGBT Family Rights Advocacy and Tong-Kwang church, which is about adoption. In a short one hour introduction, we understood the process of adoption and the requirements, and it ignited the passion I had for life. This is because besides marriage for LGBT, we can also form a family by adopting a child and become parents. Although it was a small introduction by the Advocacy, it because a huge hope in my heart.
I especially like one verse in the Bible, which is 1 Corinthians 2:9 “However, as it is written:“What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” the things God has prepared for those who love him. It has been 10 years since I was baptized and I have been with my partner for 10 years. We met in church, grew together in church and in these 10 years, we have experienced the ups and downs in our relationship. In our third year, I was arrested and forced to go to a rehabilitation center for a month because of drug abuse. Initially we were going to break up, but due to God’s leading, we went to six relationship therapy sessions, we finally chose to give each other a chance. After 3 months of individual psychiatric help, I successfully broke free from drugs and sex addictions. Facing my darkness was very challenging. However, by depending on the faith from tearful prayers, I spent half a year to repair our relationship. Although the process of confessionand repentance was agonizing, but it brought 7 years of bliss and I truly experienced the promise of Psalms 23:4 “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Regardless of whether LGBT has a partner or is single, the path of adoption is difficult. In theory, it takes 2 years or more to determine eligibility to have a chance to have contact with a child. Besides the application, health screening, and proof of financial status at the beginning, we also need to spend a lot of time and effort to have discussions, lessons, and having a social worker visiting our home. These legal processes only requires patience and following the organization step by step. I feel that LGBT success in adoption has 2 main challenges, which coming out publicly, and support of family and friends. Raising a child is a lifelong decision, and we can’t give up halfway. Hence, the organization will keep ensuring that you are ready to come out to the public and accept the world’s discrimination, because in order to be a LGBT parent, you need to have the courage to protect your child. If you can’t even live in the open, how can you be the child’s sun?
The other matter is whether your family and friends are willing to support the adoption, because a child needs to have a complete family. Perhaps you don’t have to live with elders and relatives, but if there are sudden needs when raising the child, who can help and support in a timely manner? Therefore, you need to communicate with family and friends and the adoption agency will also talk to them personally to confirm their willingness. Due to this realistic and difficult topic, I honestly argued with my mother many times, and even fought, so that she can accept that in the future, I will be a husband who will be adopting a child to form a family. If she cannot help me to take care of my child, I threatened that when she gets old, her grandchild and I will not push her wheelchair. When I look back, I don’t know where I got the courage to rebel, but when I read the Old Testament in the Bible, I found that the family of king David was like a soap opera. When there are arguments in the plot, it is more like a normal family, isn’t it?
After experiencing more than 2 years of hard work. we finally brought our child home on the fifteenth of January of the lunar calendar and I will forever remember the touching and proud moment that I can finally be a parent. More than 10 months ago, I have no idea of how to change a diaper as I was a new dad, and I became an experienced dad who knows what my child wants from a look or a movement. It was then I understood what the Bible says about becoming a child in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. This is because the most stubborn living thing is a child, who would cry or fuss whenever the child is upset, and because they only have their parents in their vision. Moreover, children deeply believes that adults love them for who they are. Isn’t this how our Father in heaven loves each of us?
No one of us needs to spend effort to please everyone, because in this world, there will definitely be people who would not see eye to eye and judge you. There will also be people who will harm you for no reason. However, you need to know that it is not your fault and it is Satan’s plot because he wants you to stop loving yourself and to distance yourself from God, but smart children know that it is only when we hold on tightly to our heavenly Father’s hand that we will have angels protecting us. This is because our heavenly Father is the source of love regardless of whether you are blood related or not, as long as you are willing to call Him Abba Father, He will give all of His love to you, isn’t it? This is the hope, faith and love that I, David depend on to become Xiang Xiang’s father, and this is my testimony.
Lastly, our family of 3 would like to use a worship song to conclude the adoption journey we had these years, and the starting lyrics is similar to the prayer two years ago before I slept, dreaming of the image of my cute son. I would also like to dedicate this song to each brother and sister listening to my testimony, that as long as we are willing to forgive others and full heartedly believe and depend on Lord Jesus, there will be the most beautiful blessing in this life.
